Why Am I Putting Up With This?

One of the internal questions that always vexes me while I’m fasting is, “Why am I putting up with this?” This question hits especially hard twice during my period of fasting.  The first time is during the lunch hour of the first day and second is dinner time on the next day.  These have always been the toughest times in my fast where I lose my sanity and begin to “rationalize” why I should abandon this ridiculous fasting plan and start eating NOW.

I was thinking about this question, “Why am I putting up with this?” at a prayer meeting yesterday.  I was thinking how particularly important (and frequent) this question comes up in life.  When things at work are stressful and tempers flare you might ask, “Why am I putting up with this?”  When your spouse’s continual disrespect makes you dream of signing divorce papers you might ask, “Why am I putting up with this?”  When you work so hard for others but no one seems to notice it’s so common to ask, “Why am I putting up with this?”

Spiritual fasting is practice for real world living.  When I’m fasting, feeling the hunger pangs, and in a pretty foul mood, the stress and temptation is to answer, “I don’t need to do this!  Why am I needlessly suffering?”  The temptation then is to hit the eject button and get on with the “blessings” of life.

The Bible tells us that Jesus was tempted in the same way.  He wanted to hit the eject button and make life easier when the burden of the sick and diseased cried for healing, when the religious leaders plotted against him, when his closest friends didn’t understand him, and when the sin of the world was upon him.  He was tempted with those same thoughts, “Why am I putting up with this?  Why am I needlessly suffering?”

Jesus knew his sufferings had a purpose.  Instead of “checking out” he decided to be present in every conflict, every debate and every conversation.  Whether calming the storm or hanging on the cross, Jesus decided to be fully present.  Why, just because he was the Son of God?  I doubt it!  I believe Jesus understood his sufferings had meaning.  His suffering meant blessing for himself and others.  I would read that last sentence again.  If Jesus “checked out” of every difficult situation, there would be no cross, no redemption, and no one would “needlessly suffer” for the benefit others.

We are fasting this week.  We are practicing being present when life gets hard.  We are training ourselves NOT to “check out” because things are too stressful or unjust for us to bear.  We are practicing faith which boldly proclaims:  “we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope” (Romans 5:3). 

We are practicing fasting this week because in the real world, something very unpleasant will happen (or is happening already) and you will be tempted to throw up your arms and “check out” and bail.  It will seem like the righteous thing to do, the necessary thing to do, as if you have no choice but to hit the eject button.  But if you do, you will have missed the intended blessing.  You will have missed loving God far above all other loves.  You will have missed experiencing the Trinity.  You will have missed prioritizing justice and mercy.  And just as important, someone else now or in the future would not have been blessed by your example and your character.

Stay hungry; Be present.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.” – Jesus

Advertisement