Ministry & Anger

Several weeks ago I decided at the spur of the moment to take some time off. Over the years I’ve learned to discern my personal warning signs that I’m getting a little “singed around the edges” so I knew I needed a break. I let our administrator know I planned to take the time off and of course she asked me how I was doing.

I began to say that everything was all right and… yes, I would say that at the time everything truly was all right. I was proactive in discerning that I needed a break and I was going to take the necessary steps to put the brakes on that dreaded place I was potentially heading: BURNOUT. Honestly, I’m not even close to burnout! I’m hopeful about how God is leading me personally and where he’s leading the church corporately. It’s hard work, but it’s immensely satisfying and whenever I picture the KIND of future as the KIND of disciples he envisions us to be, I’m completely energized.

But what took me out that week was…(confession time) anger. There was just one item that simply got me ticked. I wanted to speak some “truth” into someone under the guise of love, of course. I imagined myself having a conversation with an individual and letting them know their place. In my make believe scenario they ended up agreeing with my every word and they vowed to repent and change. Everyone lived happily ever after (especially me) because justice was served up fast and furious.

That’s one of my warning signs by the way. Whenever I begin indulging myself in imagined conversations where I “lovingly” correct another person about how wrong they are I know I’m crossing an emotional and spiritual boundary. What’s ridiculous and sinister about anger is that you actually believe that unleashing your anger will bring about the change that you desire in the other person! If you just say that one phrase in that one particular penetrating way, then checkmate, you’ve proven your point, they give-in and the world is a better place because you put someone else in their place.

This is exactly why the Apostle James so wisely warns us that “the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” (James 1:20). So true! I’ve never been angry at someone and through the sheer force of my anger and demeanor subdued them into a contrite spirit. However, in every imagined conversation, it always works out that way, it always feels right and it always ends well.

Anger automatically puts us in a state of denial. Such a dangerous place because denial clouds reality. What we believe in our imagination we actually think will happen in real life. For example, in a dream I might jump off a building and begin to fly. But, when I’m awake I know it’s a dream and I would never attempt it in real life. However, the way denial works is that we actually believe that jumping off a building would be the right and profitable thing to do!

So I”m writing this to remind myself of two things I’ve learned over the years about facing the particular issue of ministry & anger because lets face it, there’s a lot of “little” things to get angry about in ministry.

1) Don’t do/act on what your imagination tells you to do.

2) Remind myself that there are actually very few things in church life to get angry about. Unless someone is teaching some heresy and causing people to fall away, there are very few things in the day to day life of the church to get angry about.  There are much more important things out in the world to be truly angry about (sex trade, slavery, ethnic violence, corporate corruption, etc.)

Psalm 4:4 – In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.

Amen.

The Spirit of Easter

When we talk about Christmas spirit it’s easy to define: Generosity.

“God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son” – John 3:16.
“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given” – Isaiah 9:6.

The Spirit of Christmas then is displayed in generosity extended to our family members, friends, co-workers and even strangers through gifts.

If the Spirit of Christmas is generosity, then the Spirit of Easter is hope. But how is hope displayed?   What are the visible signs that someone is hope-full?   To answer that we need to be specific about what we are hoping for and in whom we have placed our hope.

Easter Spirit centers our hope in Jesus Christ. We have hope in Jesus for one overarching reason:

HE’S ALIVE!

As I write those words, I imagine a thunderous heavenly applause, a standing (or maybe bowing?) ovation, a wave of epic exuberance that even the heavens strain to contain. All of this…glory…is directed to The One who has overcome darkness, sin and death; to The One who suffered the greatest evil to ensure our greatest good.

Who has overcome the brokenness of humanity? Who has brought beauty and redemption to this broken, broken world? Jesus!

And so, because I know Jesus, I know that I’M ALIVE! (more thunderous applause).

“The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you” – Romans 8:11

Wow!

So then, how is hope displayed?  What are the visible signs that you are hope-full?  I think it’s not in what you see but in what you hear. When darkness surrounds you, when your dreams are shattered, and when God seems so distant…you can still hear the applause of heaven.

Romans 1:1-7

This was my Lectio Divina for today. Feel free to do it as well and post your journal.

1 Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God— 2 the gospel he promised beforehand through his prophets in the Holy Scriptures 3 regarding his Son, who as to his human nature was a descendant of David, 4 and who through the Spirit of holiness was declared with power to be the Son of God by his resurrection from the dead: Jesus Christ our Lord. 5 Through him and for his name’s sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith. 6 And you also are among those who are called to belong to Jesus Christ.

7 To all in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints:
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.

My Word: “Set Apart”

“Set Apart” took hold of me on the second reading which is rare for me. Most times my word isn’t solidified until the 3rd reading. That phrase was screaming for attention like a police officer on the road flagging you to pull over. I was sensing two aspects of what God wanted to communicate to me about being “set apart.” First is commitment. My commitment to God must be an “all I’ve got commitment”. It’s not half-hearted, there isn’t room for hesitation; it demands total commitment – striving with every ounce of energy. There is no room for holding back. Everything is turned over to God, especially my own desires for comfort and a life of “folding the hands” (Pr. 6:10-11)

Second the phrase “set apart” reminded me of the sovereign nature of God. The implication is that God ordained me to have a certain kind of life. A life marked by its commitment and love and devotion to God and his kingdom. This is about God’s foreknowledge of myself and my being. He has a particular vision of what my life would be like when he crafted my soul. This is overwhelmingly life-giving.

This helps me especially in times when I don’t feel like being very “spiritual”. When I don’t feel like reading scripture or practicing disciplines or doing ministry…when I’m tempted to feel like “it’s not worth it.” It is COMPLETELY, WHOLLY worth it, because God has ordained it. Anything he has ordained, big or mundane fits into his sovereign plan as is worth it because he died for his purpose and plan of which I am “set apart” for.

Indeed grace and peace (Rom 1:7) has come to us.

Meditation Exercise: Imagination

Read Ezekiel 47:1-12
1. Again become Ezekiel and take time to reflect:
a. What is the purpose of God’s question in verse 6? (i.e. What does the “this” refer to in verses 3-5 or 7-12)
b. This time we are not told Ezekiel’s response. Do you think he was silent? Would you be? What would you say in response to God’s question?
c. Is there any relationship between what happens to Ezekiel (in verse 3-6) and what happens along the river banks (in verses 7-12)
2. Now put yourself back in the 21st century.
a. What “temple” would God take you to? What might be flowing from the altar in the temple?
b. What salt water might become fresh?
c. What might the fish of every kind look like? And the fruit trees?
3. Use the result of your reflections to pray. Listen, journal etc.

Post your journal to comments section of this post. Thanks!

7 going on 16

Many books and seasoned parents have warned me about this day so I had to make sure I recorded it when it happened.

Today my seven year old daughter is turning 16. Today marks her transition from “little princess” to “modern bride”. Okay it’s not that radical a transition all in one day but it’s the first day (of many days to come) she’s ever used the phrase: Dad, I’m not a little person anymore, stop saying I’m little!!

It all started this afternoon when we were outside riding bikes. Mia was on her Disney “princess bike” – Ariel, Jasmine and Belle her constant traveling companions. After we went inside she said, “Tomorrow I want to ride your bike [a road bike].” I responded, “you’re too little to ride my bike.”

Immediately her demeanor changed and she began asserting that the word “little” was an inappropriate adjective to describe her as a person. Instead she began building an argument: (1) She was seven years old; (2) She can add and subtract numbers; (3) She makes her own breakfast; (4) She goes to school and learns; (5) She could cross the street leading to her school by herself if we allowed her…and so on (I forgot a lot). She’s a girl, she used a lot of words!

I tried to tell her that I wasn’t saying anything negative about her being “little”, but just stating a fact that she’s too little to ride my bike…that my bike was too big for her. I tried to explain to her, for example, that she’s too little to drive a car or get married (I immediately regretted saying that because now she’s going to have ideas) or go to college. But she would have none of that. She said, “I’ll prove it!!”

So we made a pinky promise bet. Tomorrow we ride bikes. If she can ride my road bike then I have to take her to Family Fun Center. If she cannot ride my bike she has to give me a back massage.

My back is smiling

But this post is simply marking a milestone for me. She’s truly a helpless and cute 7 year old on the outside, but on the inside there’s an emerging independent spirit for which nothing is too big that she’ll even pinky promise prove it just to show you wrong!

I know this is one of those treacherous lines that parents need godly wisdom to know how to traverse. It’s definitely a wake-up call for me but for today, I welcome it. I LOVE that she thinks she can tackle anything. I LOVE that what she believes she can accomplish tomorrow, is greater than what she is capable of at the moment. We need more of that in our world. Us “big” people like to tell others they are “little” and can’t do certain things. In fact, us “big” people especially like to tell ourselves how “little” we really are.

Jesus strikes that perfect balance with us. The Scriptures tell us that our lives are like vapor and yet in Christ we are fearfully and wonderfully made that we might dare to dream of doing even greater works than He. We are helpless, but in Christ, nothing is impossible.

Tomorrow Mia will fail in her attempts at riding my bike. But maybe we’ll go to Family Fun Center anyway. I’ll explain that I’m not rewarding her failure, but it’s her reward for daring to believe.

(And maybe I’ll still get a back massage….but probably not!)

I’m not too little and neither are you,
Roy

Group 3 – Lectio Divina – Hebrews 4:12-16

Hebrews 4:12-16 (NIV)

12For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Group 2 – Lectio Divina – Romans 11:33-36

Romans 11:33-36 (NIV)

Doxology
33 Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
34 “Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?”
35 “Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay him?”
36 For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.

Group 1 – Lectio Divina – John 17:20-26

John 17:20-26 (NIV)

Jesus Prays for All Believers
20″My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: 23 I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. 24 “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. 25 “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26 I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

Lectio Divina – Luke 10:21-24

21At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.

22″All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.”

23Then he turned to his disciples and said privately, “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see. 24For I tell you that many prophets and kings wanted to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.”

My Word: Turned

Jesus turned in joy, in pride of the kind of disciples his followers were becoming. He was proud of them for what they accomplished and what they were fortunate enough to have experienced. Real life – Real Purpose – Real Mission – Destiny. He turned to them because he’s filled with joy…joy through the Holy Spirit.

Jesus died on the cross for me. Agony…suffering. What can I do to make him turn toward me with that same pride and joy because of the kind of disciple I am becoming? That’s my prayer, that’s my quest today.

Mason’s First Three Word Sentence

Mason hasn’t been talking as much as he should be according to the doctor timelines. Nothing we need to be worried about, but we’ve been encouraging him to talk as much as we can.

Anyway, last night, as I was going through our “nighty night” routine – which includes milk, foot massage, leg massage, arm massage, brushing his teeth, singing “Jesus Loves Me” while tickling and doing hand motions – I held him up and said, “Hey Mason, look at me!” And he stared intently into my eyes, which I must say is one of the best parts of my day whenever I can get him to do it! There’s just something about having eye contact with a toddler. Probably because they’re so ADD all the time. At least my baby is!

Then I said to him, “I love you.” And then he repeated back to me “Ah ruv whoo!” Wow! (Heart melting…) First time hearing it from your child is like the first time hearing it from your significant other. It was an awesome moment! I gave him a super big hug and continued with the remainder of our nightly routine which included laying him down in the crib, giving high 5′s to his feet, tickling him again, then more high 5′s to the feet. Not sure why he likes 5′s to the feet…probably been watching “Happy Feet” too much!

Those three words have an amazing effect on us don’t they?! I think I’ll tell Angel, “I love you” right now!

Now you go do the same, but not to Angel